Journals
September 18,2020
I am very discouraged by myself. I feel like I usually am on top of my assignments and contacting people if I ever needed to buy right now I have not been able to bring myself to do so even though I know writing my proposal and having to actually execute my capstone is coming sooner than I know it. I already know what I want to do for my capstone project, who I want to reach out to, and where I’d go to to do it so why is it so hard for me to continue? Anyway, due to corona we were pretty limited to ideas and which ones we would actually be able to do and or pull off. So, I had to talk to my friend Alexa who is very well spoken and easily understands what teachers like and want to see from their students. She gave me the great idea of celebrating the birthdays of less fortunate kids.
September 22,2020
So far, I have had conversations with peers to help me brainstorm ideas that I could possibly do to celebrate the kids birthdays and the logistics of what I could actually do considering corona and HIPA. I have come to the conclusion that I can do birthday cards based on the gender and a bag of goodies such as a mindfulness book (Wreck This Journal, Burn This After, etc.), and the other items in the bag would be based on the child's age group and gender. After a class where Mrs.B told us about our proposals, she had told us to begin looking for mentors and solidifying our ideas. So just like she told us to do, I began looking for a mentor and I think I found one. He has done numerous things for my community along with fundraisers and I believe has also done some wonderful things for the Boys and Girls Club here in New Britain.
September 23,2020
After conversing with my family and talking to them about interests, I was on the fence about my capstone project and the logistics of me being capable of pulling it off. I did some research and realized I did not feel a connection to it and wanted to change it to something I feel strongly for and wanted to do with passion for others because this is a community service project and not just for me to enjoy. During our Senior Seminar class Mrs.Boutilier showed the class the first capstones held at SMSA in 2014. In the video there was a student who did yoga with the elderly and randomly it reminded me of an idea my mother gave me over the weekend and I automatically connected the dots. I had my new capstone project. I have decided I will teach mindfulness and coping skills to children. I would, for example, give anonymous stress/anxiety/mood skills with them to see what kind of coping skills should be taught and do guided meditations or activities such as “ Draw How You Feel” activities with them before and after meditations to record differences and who they help across the different ages and gender. I feel like this would be beneficial for the children to learn now at a young age and beneficial for me for possible career choices in the future for myself.
September 26,2020
Today I emailed Kinsella's assistant principal again because I hadn’t heard anything back and reminded her of who I was and of my capstone. She emailed me back along as the teacher saying that she would love to hear my ideas and when I would be teaching her class along with what my lessons would consist of. I am so relieved that it is starting to solidify and fall into place. The next thing I need to do is finish my rough draft and get a mentor. I know I am still slightly behind but I am getting on track and honestly I am very proud of myself.
Wednesday, November 4, 2020
Today I made my slides for my mindfulness presentation with Mrs.Marchetti at Kinsella and thinking about how I have to present and I am so nervous. I have all my information and know what I’m talking about so why am I so worried I’ll make myself sound “unprofessional”? My teacher has been helping me and reassuring me that I will be okay and that the children, who are second graders, will like me but I feel otherwise because little kids can be mean too although I am older than them It would still bother me. I have been going over my slides and trying to find graphics to draw their attention and make it entertaining but easy to understand since they are around 6 and 7.
Thursday , November 5, 2020
My presentation was at 12 and it went amazingly. The teacher was kind and understanding to my anxiety and the children were smart, attentive, and enjoyed my lesson. The kids explained how they like having things to do to recenter themselves when they are in bad moods or anxious etc which made me feel a spark in my heart of happiness and curiosity to be honest. I really enjoyed talking to the class and they asked when I would be coming back which I honestly do not know. I will be emailing Mrs.Marchetti to come teach again because I feel I could grow personally and help them mature in a sense.
Monday , November 16, 2020
I’ve been busy and forgot to reconnect with Marchetti about when I would be teaching her class again, so I emailed her and am waiting for a response. But while I wait for that I will be looking for things I can either teach or present/read to the class and Kirsten, my mentor, had sent me some papers that they can print out to do and told me she has some books that I can borrow to read with them which I am excited about.
Wednesday , November 18, 2020
I did not get an email back so I emailed her again. About 30 minutes later she emailed me back and explained that she had been busy due to the holiday coming up which I understood. I am making a plan of what I want to do and emailed her about what day would work for her to have me but have not gotten word back.
Monday, November 23, 2020
Still have not heard back from Marchetti about what day she would like me to come to her class so after the holiday break I will email her again just to make sure I get back with the kids and teach them again. They need this lesson and my teachings especially now with the pandemic so I will do my best to get back with these kids.
December 10, 2020:
I have been struggling to make another lesson to teach the kids at Kinsella but I want to see them again because I know getting something new in your environment especially now with remote learning is important so that you don't’ lose motivation, even for little kids. I talked to Bout about my struggles and she gave me the idea to teach Yoga but I’m not too sure although by the time I teach my lesson the children are squirming around and maybe the yoga would be good for them along with me teaching the benefits too. I keep doubting myself and my capability to serve my community effectively while still having fun with the group I happen to be working with. I need to stop thinking the kids do not like me and just ridiculing myself in general because in the long run it will affect my work and self esteem which is unnecessary.
December 12, 2020:
Marchetti emailed me asking if I want to teach a lesson before winter break and I want to but I never solidified the date for it which I feel I should have told her no only because I don’t have a lesson planned for them, instead of agreeing and not choosing a date so now I might look irresponsible or unprofessional.
January 3,2021:
Today I made a faux lesson to see if a yoga lesson would be good to teach the kids but I had got very overwhelmed because I have not been teaching as regularly as I would like and I am just overall stressed out about getting capstone hours so I ended up deleting the lesson and going on to look up more about yoga and its benefits, specifically for young children of course.
January 7,2021:
I talked to Kirsten about having a hard time knowing what to teach the kids and she gave me advice on how to work with kids and some pointers on language so they can understand lessons better. I want to better communicate with the children to be 100% positive that they understand me while I am teaching.
January 10,2021:
All I did today was research how yoga positively affects children but it was hard, most of the articles were broad and not really based on younger kids so that was difficult but I am determined to find some poses and benefits for my slide that I am making for them. I have started gaining more motivation to consistently see them after I haven't seen them since Christmas break which I strongly don’t like and it looks very unprofessional, along with that I don’t want them to think I am just using them for capstone. I really want them to learn from me as much as I want to learn from them and to keep in contact with Mrs. Marchetti even when I am done with the project.
January 13,2021
Today I had a phone call with my mentor and I asked her for advice on what I should teach for my next lesson because I am still unsure if the yoga one is enough. I want the kids to have fun but learn and actually practice what I am teaching them at home.
January 15,2021
After talking to Kirsten yesterday, I decided to move forward with the yoga plan. I am researching more so I have enough information to present. I also emailed Marchetti an apology and asked if we can make a schedule so I can be more consistent.